20 Things That Are SURE To Happen When You Clean All Day…

Murphys Law of House Cleaning

After 10 years of raising children, I finally realized the more I clean, the more my children will want to mess it up. Because, frankly, it’s way more fun to play in a clean house because there is more room!

Murphy’s law is an adage or epigram that is typically stated as: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong”. Well these, my friends, are the Murphy’s Laws of a clean home:

  1. If you have swept the floors, your children or husband will without a doubt track dirt back in immediately afterwards.
  2. If you have mopped the kitchen floor, one of your children will drop and spill a whole cup of very sticky juice on the floor. Most likely right in front of the fridge in which they were standing in front of with the door open.
  3. If you have cleaned the toilet, someone in your household will have a massive stomach ache and mess up that squeaky clean toilet bowl! For sure…
  4. If you have vacuumed, one of your children will drop their whole dinner plate on the floor which contains millions of tiny little granules of rice. Sticky rice.
  5. If you FINALLY finish every last stitch of laundry, rest assured someone is going to find a pair of underwear under the bed.
  6. If you have FINALLY finished washing every last dish in your house, someone is definitely going to find a glass on their side table in their room.
  7. If you have washed all the sheets ( I LOVE clean sheet day!), someone is going dream they are on the toilet and pee in the bed.
  8. If you have your carpets cleaned, it will rain and someone is going to forget to take their shoes off before walking in.
  9. If you wash the dog, she will jump the fence and roll in the dirt with the neighbors dog. Really in truly she may not even jump the fence. She will just find dirt in her own yard if she needs to. But rest assured, she will be finding dirt some place, somewhere. Or mud.
  10. If your house smells nice because you have cleaned all day and you have candles lit, your husband will want fish for dinner.
  11. While cleaning you will find a very easy to remember place for all those small things that previously lied around the house with no home. And then you will forget where that easy to remember place was. Come on. I’m not the only one who does that, right?
  12. Was that the windows you just cleaned, Mom? Your children will want you to watch all the funny faces they can smush against the glass immediately afterwards. OR they will breathe their dragon breath on the window and draw in the fog, which will stay forever until you clean them the next time. It is nice to read “I luv u Mom” on a glass window though.
  13. Peanut butter toast falls peanut butter side down 100% of the time.
  14. If you mop the bathroom floors, one of your 3 boys or husband will make a game out of popping all of the pee bubbles in the toilet and miss the actual toilet bowl 75% of the time. You will NEVER EVER EVER get the pee smell out of your bathroom with boys living with you. Ever.
  15. Legos will never be picked up in their entirety. Even if you have picked up all the toys on the floor and vacuumed the whole house. You will find said lego with bare feet in the middle of night so that you can not yell out for fear of waking the baby.
  16. If you have gotten up early and disinfected the counter tops and every nook and cranny on the stove, your husband will get up and cook bacon. Very greasy bacon on high heat that splatters all over walls and stoves and counters. Wait…if a husband gets up and cooks bacon he gets a free pass on the grease. Scratch number 16.
  17. With a 2 year old in the house you have to keep everything within arms reach put away as it is. BUT it is Murphy’s Law that at some point this very sweet, dear, precious 2 year old will get a hold of the vasoline. And he will rub it on himself, the walls, the floor, the dog, his hair, and anything else he can reach.
  18. If you organize every last toy bin in the house, every child you have will pull every toy you have, out.
  19. When you fill up the dogs bowl with fresh food, your 1 year old will suddenly remember where the bowl is and dump it all over the floor. And of course the water bowl is always right next to the food bowl. Yep. He found that one too. But hey, the carpet got a nice bath, right?
  20. And last but surely not least, if every room in your house smells like roses you can bet your bottom dollar, one of your grimy stinky sons will walk in the house and toot. And then laugh…

 

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7 responses to “20 Things That Are SURE To Happen When You Clean All Day…

  1. Love this, so true and funny ! You are an excellent writer and I always enjoy your humor and outlook.

    Blessings, Donna

    >

  2. When I finish every last stitch of laundry, my husband will come up with a bag he has been keeping in his car filled with dirty workout cloths OR one of my kids ends up with a stomach virus and we have to clean their clothes, the bed sheets and comforter and of course the bathroom mats.

    • YES! I am pretty sure my husband strips in the car on the way home because he keeps SO many work clothes in it. As soon as I get all the laundry done he cleans out his car and I have a whole other load waiting for me! Thanks for reminding me of that one!

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